


Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow?

by Ravenhoot



Series: Illusion and Devotion [3]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor (Movies), Thor - All Media Types
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-27
Updated: 2017-11-27
Packaged: 2019-02-07 18:36:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12847092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ravenhoot/pseuds/Ravenhoot
Summary: Sigyn learns of Loki's Jotun origins, but can she still love him after she knows the truth?Set during the first Thor movie in the MCU





	Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow?

**Author's Note:**

> Takes place during the events of the first Thor movie.

“Idiot!”

Loki’s voice reverberated off the walls of his and Sigyn’s chambers. He forcefully threw his helmet into an armchair before sitting onto the bench at the end of their bed, holding his head in his hands.

“Loki, love, what is it?” Sigyn asked with concern.

He didn’t answer.

“Was it the Frost Giants, as the Allfather suspected?”

“Just three. The Destroyer dispatched them before they had taken half a dozen steps.”

“So the threat has passed, then,” she observed with the hint of a question.

After Thor’s coronation had been abruptly interrupted by the interference of the Frost Giants, Loki had sent her back to their chambers while he went with Thor and their father to investigate.

“Would that it had. You know how Thor is. Reckless and impulsive. He intends us to go to Jötunheim and confront the monsters.”

“You must make him see reason!”

“I’ve tried. Once he gets an idea in his mind, there is no swaying him.”

“You must not go.”

“I fear if I don’t, he will fare worse.”

“But Loki! Those creatures could kill you all.”

“Never fear, dýrr hjarta. I’ve alerted a Crimson Hawk to go to Odin as soon as we leave. We shouldn’t even make it to Jötunheim.”

Sigyn looked worried. Loki sighed and pulled her into his chest, wrapping his lean but firm arms around her and resting his chin on top of her head.

“I will be fine, I promise.”

He took her chin in his hands, tilted her head back slightly, and kissed her warmly. He retrieved his sheathed daggers and swept out of the room, leaving Sigyn standing alone. She retrieved his helmet from the armchair and sat down with it in her lap. She couldn’t shake the feeling that something was going to go terribly wrong.

 

********************************

 

When Loki returned that evening, he was forlorn and standoffish. Sigyn had heard what had happened after Odin rescued them from Jötunheim, about Thor being banished from Asgard, but no one wanted to discuss what actually happened while the group was off-world. As if that was not enough, Odin had fallen into Odinsleep, and Queen Frigga feared he may never waken. Still, Sigyn felt that something had happened that she did not yet know about. They had been married for over four centuries--she knew her husband’s mannerisms too well. Loki would not be acting like he was from Thor’s banishment alone.

“Husband, come to bed,” she suggested. She was already nestled under the heavy furs which covered their bed. She wore a pair of Loki's loose trousers and a tunic to sleep in. As a lady of the royal court, she could not wear such garments outside their private quarters.

“No.”

“Loki, there is nothing more you can do. You are weary. Please.”

“I said no!”

Sigyn flinched slightly, even though she knew he would never strike her. It pained her to hear the torment in his voice. He almost never shouted at her and in the few times he had, something had been gravely wrong each time. Loki was sitting on the bench at the foot of their bed with his back to her. She threw off the furs that covered her and moved to the end of the bed. She sat up and slid forward, placing one leg on either side of Loki’s waist so that her feet rested on the bench, one on either side of him. She leaned forward and wrapped her arms around his chest, resting her chin on his head, mimicking the gesture he’d given her earlier that day.

Despite himself, Loki sighed and leaned back into her embrace.

“You know you can tell me anything. Tell me what troubles you, my love.”

“Sigyn… this time I truly cannot. You wouldn’t, you couldn’t understand.”

“I do not have to understand. I just need to know so that I may be of comfort to you.”

“You would never look at me the same.”

That gave her pause. _What could be so terrible that he thinks I would never see him the same…_

She moved to slide off the bed and stood in front of him. She wanted to see his face when she spoke again. Loki was a master manipulator and could twist words with ease, but his eyes were another matter. He may be able to mask himself from others, but she could always see through his hardened exterior by looking into his eyes.

“You doubt my devotion to you?”

“I never had cause to before. But this… how could you still love me once you knew?”

Sigyn felt tears well in her eyes. When she spoke again, her voice was thick with hurt.

“Loki, I have stood by your side through everything. Every convoluted trick or scheme you've plotted. I stayed with you willingly when you were sentenced to the snake's pit. I have defended you against everyone you've tricked and deceived. How could you think I would abandon you now?”

The longer she spoke, the more Loki felt his temper rise. He stood abruptly and produced the Jötun casket from seemingly nowhere, holding it in his hands.

“Because of this!” He howled.

His smooth fair skin changed in front of her eyes to a harsh cerulean, etched with strange foreign designs. His emerald eyes that held so much warmth and love for her were gone--replaced by a rigid scarlet.

Sigyn gasped involuntarily took a step backwards. The look of fear was plain in her eyes. Loki wailed in anguish and tossed the casket aside. As soon as it left his hands, his appearance returned to his Aesir form.

“You see!? You recoil from my true self. I am a monster!”

"Loki, I..."

" _THOSE CREATURES!_ " He roared. "That is what you called them only this morning when Thor dragged us off to that wretched place! They disgust you and you are afraid of them... afraid of me."

He succumbed to sorrow and fell into a chair near the window, his hand on his brow.

Sigyn took a few breaths to steady herself. When she spoke, her voice sounded calmer than she felt.

“Tell me how this came to be.”

Loki looked up from his hand to see her standing immobile in the same spot.

“Odin,” Loki began with disgust, “stole me as an infant from the ruins of Jötunheim. He sought to use me as a pawn to bridge permanent peace with the Jötuns.”

“Your father…”

“Is Laufey," he said with finality.

Sigyn regarded him carefully. She had never seen him look so dejected.

“Laufey may be your father by birth, but Odin raised you as one of his own. I have no doubt that he and the Queen love you dearly.”

“Then why didn’t he tell me the truth?”

“The truth… Truth is so much more complicated than we like to acknowledge. Sometimes the truth is withheld with good intentions. Which is better? To know the truth or be spared the pain of it?”

“Everything I am is a lie,” he whispered.

“Now that certainly is not the truth.”

Loki looked at her doubtingly.

“You are brave and loyal. You are courageous and powerful. Your sorcery is nigh unmatched save for your teacher--our queen. You are the brother of Thor and son of Frigga. Perhaps not by blood, but in your heart. And you are my husband. Those are not lies.”

“And do you still wish to be my wife?”

“You are still Loki. Would you no longer wish to be wed to me if you learned I was truly a light elf from Alfheim?”

“A light elf is not a monster. I grew up alongside Thor learning to kill Jötuns. How can you bear to lie beside a cold, frozen monster?”

Sigyn closed the distance between them. She knelt so she would be eye to eye with him and took his hands into hers. Since he had stopped shouting, she had been able to process what had happened. She _had_ been afraid of him at first. It had just been so... unexpected. She wasn't sure what she had been expecting, but this was not it.

 _Calm yourself, Sigyn._ She told herself. _He loves you. That much is certain. He would not be this distraught if he simply meant to abandon his life on Asgard and give in to this. He told me once that nothing would ever stop him from loving me, and I truly believe that._

She took a few more steadying breaths and said, “This changes nothing. I reacted with shock; I do not deny it. But in our vows, we promised not to seek to change one another in any way. This is a part of you and I would not forswear you because of it.”

She had barely finished speaking before Loki vaulted from the armchair, taking her in his arms as a cry of misery escaped him.

“If there is one thing I know to be true," he cried, "it is that I do not deserve your love." His voice was muffled from his face being buried in her hair.

“We will get through this, my love. Like everything else we have endured, this too shall pass. Besides, the cold never bothered me anyway.”

 

********************************

 

Sigyn sat alone in their chambers, anxiously twisting her hair around her forefinger. She had been praying Loki and Thor would be able to resolve this mess amicably. Loki had been so angry since Thor’s banishment.

A soft knock at the door made her jump in surprise. She hadn’t realized how quiet it had gotten. She was surprised to see Frigga at the door. Surely if something was wrong, she would have been summoned to the throne room.

Frigga sat stiffly on a chaise lounge in the sitting room of Sigyn and Loki’s apartments. Sigyn felt a sense of foreboding.

Frigga’s eyes shined with tears as she said, “Good-daughter…”

“My Queen, pray tell where is my husband? Where is Loki?”

“Oh Sigyn, my dear…. He fell!” Frigga’s voice broke at that last word and she wept silently.

Fell. Sigyn could only infer what that meant. She had seen the explosion when the Bifrost had broken, but surely if he was gone, she would have felt it? Their seiðr was linked - she would have felt something if his had been snuffed out.

The denial of the truth slowly gave way and she felt her heart shattering. He couldn’t be gone.

Frigga encircled Sigyn into an embrace of grief and sorrow. They cried together until the sky outside the windows grew dark.

Frigga rose and sniffled, regaining her composure, and as she turned to go, she said to Sigyn, “The ceremony will be tomorrow night.”

Frigga pulled open the heavy oak door and slipped quietly out. The door closed with a soft thud and Sigyn was left alone. She screamed in anguish as violet sparks shot from her hands, leaving purple streaks on the walls and ceiling. She retrieved Loki’s horned helmet from the corner and clutched it to her chest as she sobbed. She wept until her eyes were sore and heavy. Finally, exhaustion overtook her and she slept.

 

********************************

 

Sigyn stood beside Frigga as the skiff was pushed off the bank. Because Loki had fallen into the abyss, there was no body to place in the ceremonial skiff. Odin had wanted to have Loki’s golden horned helm in the boat, but Sigyn refused to give it up. Sigyn’s father Iwaldi, who worked for the royal armory, had made an exact replica of the helm for the funeral ceremony.

Frigga gripped Sigyn’s hand as they watched the boat drift to the edge of the world. An archer shot a flaming arrow into the boat and it burst into brilliant flames of orange but swiftly changed to green. Sigyn gave Frigga a questioning glance. Frigga nodded slightly and Sigyn understood. Frigga had bewitched the skiff so that when it caught fire, it would burn green in Loki's recognizable seiðr. As soon as the boat reached the edge, Odin stamped the butt of his staff to the ground and the boat drifted into the heavens, dissolving into green sparks.

Sigyn remained in mourning attire for an entire year.

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, I used a line from Frozen. I own nothing Disney or Marvel. I've always associated that song with Loki and Sigyn somehow. Don't ask me to explain, it barely makes sense to me.


End file.
